I Know I Have My Hands Full.

When we had Sofia, I was determined not to allow the fact that I now have a baby to keep me from doing things. And it didn't. I went everywhere with her in tow. Since I did a bunch of baby wearing, it was easy to just strap her to me and go. It also means I've tried every baby carrier under the sun, but that's a whole other blog post. I never adjusted my days to ensure she was home at nap time. It also helped she didn't have a nap time. When she was tired, she slept. When she was hungry, she ate. So it was easy going places because she would deal. And to this day, she is an awesome traveling companion. We can drive hours in the car and she doesn't complain one bit. Just ask Adam. He took a road trip with her all the way to Texas and back and she complained less than he did!

Now that we have the boys, it's a little more difficult to go places, but I still don't let it stop me. They are just going to have to deal with a mom who keeps the roads hot (as Adam's stepmom would say). And they do pretty darn good too. I don't do as much babywearing as I'd like, especially now because they are 20 pounds a piece, but between the plethora of strollers and carriers, I adjust how we travel based on the situation. Most of the time, they are in their double stroller. Sometimes, I'll be wearing one in a sling or an Ergo and the other will be in a single stroller. On a rare occasion, I'll double-up the Ergos and wear both at the same time. But it doesn't matter how we are traveling, we get stares and comments.

An older photo, but you get to see what double Ergo wearing looks like. 

I don't think seeing three kids out with their Mom running errands or doing whatever is that surprising. Three does not seem like an outrageous number of children. I don't think I'd bat an eyelash at a mom with her three darlings in tow. So I don't know what it is about me by myself with my three that makes us instantly become a pity party.  Is it because of the twins? I do admit our side-by-side stroller can be described as a monstrosity, but I'm sure moms with two young ones close in age still use double strollers. So why do I get the, "You've got your hands full!" comment?  I've gotten used to it by now. Occasionally there will be someone who makes a comment that rubs me the wrong way, but for the most part I just smile and move on.

An even older photo, but you get to see the double stroller in action. 

Yesterday the plan was to do our regular Costco shopping trip, but Sofia ended up taking a late afternoon nap and by the time we finally got out there, it was closed. I now know Costco closes at 6 on Saturdays. Too bad I found that out the hard way after getting all the kids strapped into the cart and finding the door closed.... at 6:02... So change of plans. We still had to do some grocery shopping, but we were all hungry so I decided we needed to get something to eat first. Sweet Tomatoes sounded good. We've done Sweet Tomatoes with the stroller before, but I didn't want to deal with it, so I did the double Ergo and carried the boys. That way I had both hands free to finagle with the tray and once we sat down, they'd be in high chairs so it wouldn't be that bad. I mentally prepared myself for the comments... "Wow, you've got your hands full!"

But it wasn't like that at all. It was by far the best experience I've had being out with all the kids by myself. It was refreshingly the opposite of what usually happens. There was the nicest lady with her family behind us in line. I'll call her Lovely, because that's what she was. It was too busy to seat ourselves so we had to wait to be seated. While waiting for a table to clear, I figured since the drink bar was right in front of where we were waiting, I had better get my drink before sitting down so it would be one less thing to have to get later. I told Sofia to stay right here with the trays so I could get my drink and Lovely said, "Don't worry, I'll watch her." But not in a creepy, I'm About to Walk Off With Your Kid kind of way. It was genuinely sincere. I was three steps away anyway, but thank you. We chatted for a while about how friendly Sofia is. Then when we finally sat down, Lovely and her family ended up getting seated right next to us. Sofia instantly said hello again. "If you need anything, you just let me know," Lovely said. Then after a good ten minutes or so, she came over to the table. "Do you need anything while I'm up?" I did need a refill of lemonade, but I wasn't about to ask her. It was so nice that she offered though.

Our table happened to be by the bathroom, so there was quite a bit of foot traffic. I overheard a couple people note the twins to each other in passing. Nothing I'd internally roll my eyes at. No, You've Got Your Hands Full comments. One lady came up to me and said , "As a random mom of a single kid, is there anything I can get you?"  Thank you but not really. I was doing great. The boys were in their high chairs enjoying dinner. Sofia was sitting down picking at hers. Everyone was doing great. No screaming or crying at all. Since we were going right to the car, I opted to just put Thomas in the Ergo and let Jacob hold my hand and (slowly) walk out of the restaurant. Lovely offered to help again. "Do you need help getting the other one on your back?" Thank you, but no, I'm going to let him walk. On the way out we did get a, "Oh you are so blessed!" which I'll take over a I have my hands full any old day. It was paired with a "I hope you are breast feeding them all" which was a bit awkward. Oh well.

I was overjoyed to make it out of the restaurant without the hands full comments. I rubs my the wrong way when people make that comment. Do you not think I know that my hands are full? I'm reminded that my hands are full every single dingle day. I have a little kid and twins. My hands are usually literally full - holding Sofia's hand and pushing a stroller. So a hint for any of you. When you are out an about, if you see a mom with lots of kids, especially a mom of multiples, don't tell her her hands are full. She knows. Instead, be a little supportive and offer to help. Can I get the door for you? Is there anything you need? Can I give you a hand? If it's me you run into, chances are I'll politely decline your offer. But it will mean the world to me that you were willing to help. I know I'm going to continue making an effort to be a Lovely when I'm out an about. And I hope that's not the only Lovely I'll ever run into.