Why I hate the movie Frozen

Just like most 3 - 9 year old girls, my daughter is obsessed with this Disney movie. She sings the songs all day long while wearing her Frozen costume and playing with her Elsa doll after telling me her name is no longer Sofia, it's now Elsa. Needless to say we've seen the movie several times. So how could I possibly hate the biggest movie of the year? Because every time I watch it, I cry. And I'm not talking cute little watery eyes. I'm talking big ol' mascara running tears.

As far as I'm concerned, this is one of the best Disney animated movies of all time. Not only is it beautiful to watch - wonderfully detailed costumes, a castle set in a Scandinavian fjord, the whole winter wonderland thing - but it is refreshingly un-typical Disney princess. Which is a big part of why I love it so much. Like most other princess movies, Frozen has a damsel in distress, a misunderstood wingman, the requisite act of true love and a Prince Charming. Where it differs is in the damsel's self-awakening, Prince Charming not being all he's cracked up to be, and the twist on what an act of true love really is. All these things that I love about the movie are probably lost on Sofia somewhat. Yes she understands the story but I think she just loves the costumes and the songs and the princesses, as I would suspect a four year old would. However, I don't think the messages are completely lost on her. At least I hope not. It's probably not the reason SHE loves the movie, but I love that she's getting exposed to what I consider positive beneficial messages.

In case you haven't been lucky enough to see Frozen yet, let me sum it up for you. Two sisters, Elsa and Anna, are princesses of Arendelle. Elsa, born gifted with the power over winter (ice, snow, frost, etc) and Anna are close until Elsa accidentally freezes a piece of Anna while playing when they were young.  To protect Elsa from her growing powers and causing any more damage, the sisters are separated, Anna's memories of her sister's gift are wiped clean and Elsa is told to conceal her powers and keep them under control. Which is fine until the queen and king end up dying and now Elsa, being the eldest, is in charge. When sister Anna meets Hans (Prince Charming) on Elsa's coronation day and falls head over heels getting engaged that same evening, an irritated Elsa waves her hand in a burst of frustration and reveals her ice powers to all. She flees to North Mountain to find solitude and be free from everyone but unintentionally sets off an eternal winter in Arendelle on her way out. Anna goes after her sister convinced she can talk Elsa into returning and thawing out the city, except in another burst of frustration Elsa accidentally freezes Anna's heart which means she will eventually turn into ice unless an act of true love can save her. Assuming true love's kiss is the act of true love she needs, Anna rushes back to Hans only to find out he never really loved her and was only using her to gain access to the throne. Elsa ends up being captured and returned to Arendelle where she finds herself about to be slain by Hans before an extremely weak and nearly completely frozen Anna jumps in the way sacrificing herself to save Elsa right before she turns into an ice sculpture, which ends up being the act of true love that saves her. Anna thaws. Hans gets outed as a jerk. Elsa learns how to return Arendelle to normal by using love to defrost the town and everyone moves toward living happily ever after.

I'm fighting back tears during two parts of the movie: Elsa's transformation from a terrified and confused queen to a confident and unrestrained sorceress during the song, "Let It Go", and Anna's act of self sacrifice to save her sister. These two parts in particular really speak to me but there are many other messages in the movie that I appreciate.

Until she flees to North Mountain, Elsa is terrified of her powers. She barely has control over them. She is constantly reminded to conceal, don't feel, don't let it show. Her powers are a part of her and had been a source of happiness as a young girl, then all of a sudden she is required to bottle that all up and never speak to her sister or anyone about this huge piece of her. How could she ever be expected to learn how to control her powers if she was required to mask them all the time? How constricted must she have felt to not be able to be herself? So she finally gets out of town, although not under the best of circumstances, and decides to test her strength and she what she's really capable of. She is finally free to be herself. All of herself without hiding. How liberating! No need to hold back. Be your true person.

Isn't that an amazing lesson to be teaching young girls? Be your true self. Don't worry what other people say, just let it go. You will have a hard time being truly happy if you are trying to be someone that you aren't. Or hiding pieces of you. Do not be ashamed. Be proud of who you are. In that, you will find happiness. We are constantly being barraged with messages of how to look, what to wear, how to act, what to listen to, what to watch, who to surround yourself with.... If there is one thing I want Sofia to be, it is to be comfortable with herself. Confidence. Don't worry about what other people think, you have to be true to you. During the "Let It Go" sequence, Elsa is clearly transformed from fearful to fearless. The transformation is what gets to me. Yes I know this is an animated movie I'm talking about, but really it's the message that it's sending to my daughter that I'm focusing on. transformation is what brings up emotions.

I would be remiss not to mention the ... costume change ... that takes place during Elsa's transformation. I'm sure there are people who are taken aback by the sexualization of the character at that point. Elsa goes from wearing a modest, albeit still beautiful, dress with a humble updo to a more revealing glittery gown with tossled hair. At first even I thought, gosh, did they really have to make her that hot? Honestly, no probably not. However I am not bothered by Disney's choice. Why? Because we've all had those days were we put on an outfit and look in the mirror and say, "Damn, I look good!" Which is exactly what I think Elsa is doing. And isn't that a great feeling? If that's the dress that makes her feel good, then go on with your bad self girl! Live it up. Elsa is all by herself at the top of a secluded mountain. There aren't any other people up there she is trying to impress. She wasn't getting fancy for anyone but herself.

A bunch of stuff happens in the middle of the movie, yadda yadda yadda, and then we get towards the end where you're wondering how this is all going to play out. The bond between the sisters is highlighted throughout the entire movie. Family first. I love how Anna never gives up on Elsa even though they had grown more distant after the initial accident. Regardless, they were sisters and to Anna that meant she would always fight for Elsa. That bond is what saved Anna's life. Sacrifice is not new to fairy tales or Disney - Ariel gives up her voice in The Little Mermaid, Belle stays with the Beast to save her father's life... but the act of true love is almost always a kiss from the handsome prince. Not only that, but the handsome prince just met the poor damsel in distress moments before and now he's saved her life and they've run off and gotten married the VERY NEXT DAY and life happily ever after. Pah-lese. Although a surprising plot twist, it was so refreshing to see Hans being portrayed as something other than perfect. What a rotten scoundrel.

Because listen girls, there is no problem in believing in fairy tails, but you also have to believe that not everyone is who they claim to be. Sometimes it's just too good to be true. Watch yourself and learn to love someone who has proven themselves to you. There is absolutely someone out there for everyone. I truly believe that. So I do want my daughter to grow up knowing there is someone out there for her who will love her, all of her, and who she can love back 100%. But relationships take work, regardless of if it was love at first sight or not, so I do not necessarily need her to believe in happily ever after or that falling in love doesn't take some work. There will be someone out there for her, but maybe not exactly Prince Charming...

So true love's kiss was not the act of true love that saved Anna at all. It was her selflessness in saving her sister. It was not some passive act of true love that Anna had to wait for someone else to do but instead it was her own actions that saved her. It was something she did. A decision she made. Another powerful message that brings me to tears. She was willing to give up her life for her sister because she loved her so much. That in itself would move me to tears - but then I start thinking about my own children and how I hope they love each other as much as these sisters do. And I think about my sweet Sofia and how she loves her little brothers so much now and I hope her love will only grow year after year. And I think about how much it means to have someone that has your back no matter what and how much more that means when it's your sibling. And then I get a lump in my throat as I choke back the tears that I'm sure my daughter would not understand at all if she actually saw me crying. So far I've been lucky that she hasn't.

I should say that moving me to tears actually doesn't take much. I am a weenie for sad sappy stuff. But the fact that I cry every. single. time I watch this children's movie is why I hate Frozen so much. I'll be one of the first to buy it when it's released.